Vacations mean a change of pace, a gentleness with ourselves, a time of rest and renewal, and a time to stretch ourselves and encounter new people, new places, new ways and new options.

Anne Wilson Schaef

Few moments in life can completely change you. You personally. You as a wife and a mother. Your marriage. We had that moment when we got Lainey’s diagnosis. From the outside looking in, you might not see that change. But my heart is different. My head is different. My eyes are different. And the same is true for Zach.

Not only did we have Lainey’s diagnosis to process, Zach had some big changes at work happening that brought a lot of stress. Our personalities are different. How we deal with things is different. So when you add that all together in one pot, shit boils over. I think the 1 piece of advice I could give a couple before they get married is this: Make sure you are with someone who loves you when you are at your best, and will still love you when you’re at your worst. Because we saw each other at our worst. I always knew we would get through it. But most days I just didn’t know how.

Fast forward a year and a half later, and here we are. Rocking life together.

We got through it. And are stronger. We understand each other better. And can navigate our bumps a little easier. What we greatly needed after having:

– a baby with down syndrome
– a 2 month stay in the NICU
– starting a new business in the midst of a pandemic
– financial worry
– and realizing that for almost 2 years we hadn’t spent 1 night alone

was a VACATION!

(I don’t count the nights we had alone in Sioux Falls at our apartment while Lainey was in the NICU. There is no rest, relaxation, rejuvenation or romance.)

We are beyond blessed to have great friends in our little town. Oddly enough, we hardly see each other while at home! So when they asked if anyone wanted to join them on a vacation for their 10 year wedding anniversary we were IN.

I also love traveling with my Sis and BIL so you can’t be that!

We headed to the Dominican Republic. We stayed at the Hard Rock Resort in Punta Cana. We had the BEST time. It was the perfect mix of drinks, food, fun, craziness, rest, relaxation, romance and sleep. Because who when they are a parent of young kiddos doesn’t crave sleep.

If you and your spouse have had some rough months (and honestly, who hasn’t this past year!?!) Take a trip. It doesn’t have to be as big as traveling to the Dominican. Travel to a neighboring town and spend the night at the hotel. Go out to eat. Just be. It’s not going to solve all the problems. But as the saying goes “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

I think we each personally have a cup that needs to be filled but so do marriages.